How often do you let Joy in when she comes knocking? Here's a poem about that...
Hello, Joy. It’s nice to meet you. Looks like you found a way to my door.
Funny, it feels like... Have we met before?
Were we kids together? Or perhaps something more?
I know, I just know we’ve met here before.
But now you must go, for I haven’t the room
To help you feel welcome amongst all this gloom.
Perhaps some day you could visit again?
Come back when I’m older, I’ll be better then.
~
Joy, was it? I’m afraid I’m not good with a name,
And you’re not around as much as some people claim.
But here you are, though I wasn’t expecting,
Now all of my attention you’ll be directing?
Okay. That’s fine, though I wish you had warned me.
You see, this week is just so damn busy.
I’ve got people to see, places to go,
And it might be awkward with you— I don’t know.
I’m not familiar with your special needs,
And don’t get me wrong, I know it’s not greed,
But giving you my time is not priority,
The life gathered around me, it gets the majority.
~
Joy, ha! I’m surprised you arrived,
After all of this life that I barely survived.
Tell me, how can you show your face now?
Your presence is something I can barely allow.
It just seems fake, acting like you’re accepted,
Because your presence brings about all things unexpected.
Like questioning what the hell am I doing with my life?
So, please move along, you just bring me strife.
~
Joy, I’m sorry, I was never kind.
I’m afraid that life has ruined my mind.
I’m not who I used to be, nor who I’d like.
Tell me, why can’t I get this all right?
They told me if I stuck my nose to the grindstone,
The path to success would make itself known.
I thought that I needed to work very hard
But that’s only left me lonely and scarred.
If you have any advice, any at all,
I really wouldn’t mind you coming to call.
~
Joy? Are you there? I’d love to see you, my friend!
I’ve missed you, could you tell me where have you been?
I thought you’d come back when I said when,
But as I search for you- nothing. Not now, nor then.
They promised for sure you were coming my way,
But I don’t trust now what others will say...
~
Joy, is that you? I barely recognize
that flash of humor behind your eyes.
It’s been so long, I almost forgot,
Even though for you is all that I’ve fought.
But what’s that you say? Not coming to stay?
Not even a week? Barely a day?
What will I do without you here?
There is so much in my life that I fear.
~
Joy, what a relief you’ve returned.
You won’t believe all the bridges I’ve burned.
I thought that for sure you were on the other side,
But oh, my friend, did you ever hide.
I searched for you everywhere, high and low.
I thought for certain the path I did know.
But old or new, the path it would stray
And following it, I just kept losing my way.
I can’t tell you how often I felt
That I deserved the hand I was dealt.
But I’m tired of folding, the cards are all wrong.
The journey is rough not carrying you along.
~
Joy! You rogue! What a surprise!
I never expected to see your warm eyes.
What are you doing here of all places?
I expected to find you in the usual spaces.
After I realized you weren’t showing up there,
I thought for sure you no longer cared.
But I’ve realized that really, no care came from me,
That I’d stopped looking where you’d actually be.
I neglected to learn what made you tick.
My lack of effort was making me sick.
~
Joy, my love, how I adore when you’re close.
In fact when you’re here, I love you the most.
But if you decide you must leave again,
Know that I’m done chasing you, my friend.
Instead, I’ll wait here so that in time,
I can cultivate a convivial mind.
A mind that, at last, is a hospitable place.
Somewhere you can show your beautiful face.
You don’t have to wander. You don’t have to roam.
Joy, it’s a pleasure for you to come home.